Kacper Niburski is a medical student in the Class of 2021 at McGill University. He is also the CMAJ student humanities blog editor. Follow his writing instagram: @_kenkan.
ventricular septal defect
you would not understand
what it means to fall in love
with the blue
to come to pour it
to read it in the cracks of light under heavy spines
to see it in green marseille waters ...continue reading
Ally Istl is a senior General Surgery resident at Western University
The concept of Wellness in the professional medical arena has become a contemporary Gargantua that we are perpetually seeking to satisfy, but never able to sate. As other disciplines seek to make their trainees ‘Well’, wellness has also become a growing subject of exploration in surgical disciplines.
Wellness means different things to different people and formal definitions provide no clarity in the context of the medical profession: ‘the state of being in good health, especially as an actively pursued goal’ only provokes more ...continue reading
Tharshika Thangaraa is a fourth year medical student at the University of Ottawa.
The sound of her alarm pulsated through her room. Startled, she awoke. It was just another day. As the fog of nighttime cleared, she felt the weight of everyday resurface. Gradually, they claimed their spot, perched atop her shoulders. She sunk deeper into her bed.
What would she wear?
How would it flatter her figure?
What would they think?
She managed to pry off the covers and make her way downstairs for breakfast. She poured herself a bowel of cereal and set the coffee to brew. She barely noticed the happy chirps of the morning songbirds or the vibrant petals of the summer flowers starting to bloom.
Arnav Agarwal is an Internal Medicine Resident (R1) at the University of Toronto. Check back the last Thursday of each month for a new featured piece as part of his series (Doc Talks: Reflections to Reality)!
No S1Q3T3
on the waveforms of her ECG,
but nobody turned to check
for signs of right heart strain in me.
Alarm beeping cuts through cold silence
only to leave the same void behind on cue;
my mother, ‘the patient’, is fading away,
and I, ‘the bystander’, am too.
Iris Gorfinkel is a General Practitioner, and Founder and Principal Investigator at PrimeHealth Clinical Research in Toronto, Ontario.
On July 10, 2018 Health Canada issued a recall of several products containing the blood pressure lowering drug, valsartan. This came in response to a disclosure from its Chinese manufacturer that the drug had been contaminated with a known carcinogen. A massive effort to contact patients to stop the affected drug lots, and to replace it with an alternative, ensued. Few clinicians had been even remotely aware that ...continue reading
Grace Dao is a second year medical student at Dalhousie University.
From the beginning of medical school, we are taught about balance --the balance between each individual’s autonomy and the public well-being, the balance between focusing on the present and always being asked to plan for the future, and the balance between investing our time and energy into becoming skilled practitioners and the famously important, ever elusive “work-life balance”. Yet despite the mentioned importance, each lesson often ends with the thought that “well, you just have to find the balance…”. ...continue reading
Beatrice Preti is an R2 in internal medicine at the Queen's University.
There were things I meant, but didn’t say
As I heard your heartbeat fade away
My stethoscope was on your chest
When you drifted off to eternal rest
I’d spent the whole night by your side
There was nothing left we hadn’t tried
But the drugs and tubes and shocks and lines
Bought you little extra time
Your path was clear right from the start
I had no cure for your sick heart
Yet you asked me to try, so I did my best
But, despite our efforts, things progressed
When the new dawn broke, your life did, too,
You never heard what I said to you
How I begged forgiveness, my quiet prayers,
You stared straight ahead, as if I weren’t there
Close to the end, you’d opened your eyes
Looked up with desperation, as if the skies
Would rain down mercy for your plight
But no salvation came on that fateful night
This was never our initial plan
We’d all seemed to understand
That you were dying and wanted peace
A soft and gentle, graceful release
But as your time was drawing near
You changed your mind. That much was clear.
You told me you were afraid to die
I said I’d help, but that was a lie
I didn’t share my other thoughts
That tied my stomach and heart in knots
I knew then that it was too late
Yet I donned my gloves, and fought with fate
I wrote the orders, increased the dose,
Pulled up a chair so I could be close
You had no family to stand by your side
Your rocky end was a solo ride
As the night grew thin, your breaths grew shallow
Your once-ruddy face turned blank and sallow
I never said I was sorry to you
By the time I could say it, the end was through
The dawn broke cruelly on the brand-new day
And all the things I meant, but didn’t say
Kacper Niburski is a medical student in the Class of 2021 at McGill University. He is also the CMAJ student humanities blog editor. Follow his writing instagram: @_kenkan.
as if you’ve already known
that it must be i
quiet i looking i
holding the heavy love
for us both
these giant holes of light
these hands wrecked with the small
and the insects that sit on bony branches
like lesser gods dissolving in the leaves
that too know
how to pray
or kill a man
my brother is tickling my feet
my sister is wanting to wrestle us both
air laughs between then and then in the sweet pardon
of excuse me child
have you heard what rumi said
about this
let the beauty we love be what we do
are you done
is this night
where i dream in the slop of your inhale
with persian on my tongue
the split fruit of books on the carpet
where i am trying to swear more often
because of that damned poet reminding
each day is a tinier day
each body is becoming less of a body
by being with others
on a ripped page is an entire life
in a word there the worried universe
the scalps understand
the scallops even more so
you lick your fingers with childhood
meat full of meat
like my grandmother who taught her
earth brown cat
a persian i think
to tickle
to hold
to love the unknown
universally
Arnav Agarwal is an Internal Medicine Resident (R1) at the University of Toronto. Check back the last Thursday of each month for a new featured piece as part of his series (Doc Talks: Reflections to Reality)!
Sometimes
time tests our resilience.
We struggle with the urge to
no longer put ourselves second,
when every other second
is spent putting others first.
But we are reminded –
Emily Harris is the Business Manager for the Heart and Vascular Program at Unity Health Toronto – St. Michael's Hospital
Healthcare is a varied and multidisciplinary world. From clinical medicine to social work to data collection, expertise from many diverse specialties is required to ensure that hospitals run successfully and that patients receive the very best care.
The value of a collaborative environment in healthcare is ...continue reading